You Don’t Have a Purpose in Life and That’s Okay

Life has no purpose! At least not one that is universal and agreeable to all men and women who’ve ever walked the earth and who strived for something with all their might believing they were born for the moment. Spartans wielded the sword for instance, and to them the purpose of life was to prove oneself in the battlefield, the samurai were sworn to their masters and this fidelity to duty and honour was more than convincing to these brave souls, and to the Dalai Lama, the purpose of life as he puts it is “to help others” and not to hurt them where we cant. Eleanor Roosevelt had a different view when she said “the purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.”

The quest to know what is the purpose of life is a matter that haunts us all at a personal level and at the scale at which we recognize that life extends beyond us to the trees and birds, to a future that does not yet belong to us and to a past long gone. It is a question of finding meaning in all of the happenings of the world, between the possible and the impossible, between history and the vast stretches of time ahead, between the expectations of others and those of ourselves, between our various potentials and our limitations as finite beings and to resolve these things and more with our terrible understanding of any of them.

To find life’s purpose is, in other words, to know what to make of life in the face of politics, history, fellow creatures, family, marriage, opportunities, limited experiences, ideologies, technology, death, human suffering, and so on. It is not easy to do this, and that is why there are so many answers to this quintessential question and the reason that there is no single platitude that stands above all others as the “one”.

So don’t despair that you know not what to do with your life, or haven’t found a purpose yet. It is doubtful that anyone in history ever has or ever will. The matter of being acquainted with our own existence is a very personal and exclusive experience, and our understanding of the world is equally unique which makes it less likely that anyone could figure out what is the purpose of life for you. Not to mention, to have a perfect understanding of the world and the cosmos in general and to use this comprehension to come to the right conclusion is virtually impossible.

The reality is that we shall always be limited as beings and you have to decide what you want to do with your life not by being at perfect ease with yourself but on the conviction that you can never get it right no matter how hard you try. In fact, the question of what is the purpose of life being notoriously difficult to answer should be substituted with that of how to lead a good life as much practical wisdom abounds on the latter. Socrates, for instance, says “an unexamined life is not worth living” and by this, he means that we should constantly examine our decisions to make them serve us better now and in the future. In the same breath, he implies that we should be ready to learn and improve and earn our right to life by being better versions of ourselves each day. Buddha calls on his followers to “practice mindfulness”, and the stoics advise us to keep a journal on which we reflect daily on our various accomplishments and failings.

Make the Best with what you’ve got

Thus the first step to developing a life that is filled with purpose is to be humble, to recognize that we cannot be everything and anything. This way we shall stop being stumped for choice and decide to make the best of what we already got. Some people choose to perform poorly at their workplace because they believe that it is not where they belong, and this is a very dangerous attitude. Dangerous because it messes with your work ethic and limits your ability to grow to meet the very opportunities that lead to a life of purpose.

A bad work ethic also assumes that you have to start at a high point and that the path to purpose is carpeted with flowers on the sidewalk while the reality is that it is dirty, and littered with potholes. It is one of perseverance, and many a times you will have to create the path ahead without help or guidance from anyone. So if you want to find your life’s purpose never let anything or anyone compromise your work ethic as a good work ethic is your surest bet at building something worthwhile in the long run.

Be Decisive

Stop wasting time and decide on what you want to be right now! Shakespeare sums up the question of purpose beautifully when he says “To be or not to be: That is the question”. Sadly many people choose not to be by constantly delaying their decisions without taking time to note that the more they delay, the less they get from life. Being decisive also requires being able to commit to your choices at least long enough to see what comes out of them.

Warren Buffet advices that in life, you don’t have to swing at every ball that comes your way, you just have to hit a few of them and understanding this is key to finding your life’s purpose. One way to make sure that you make the right hits is to list your priorities for the day, for the week and for the year and to make notes and observations as you try your best to follow through on them. You will be surprised at how much this daily practice will orient your life towards the fine things in life.

Overcome your fears

Fear by definition is holding back your best effort and why anyone would do that in their life basically their only real possession in this universe makes no sense. But it is the case that for most of us we are always holding back i.e. not putting enough time on the things that matter, are in love with various distractions such as movies, social media or are living what is often called “the good life” meaning alcohol, sex and other similar indulgences.

Fear and procrastination take many forms, but it is always the case that they take away your time and keep you from thinking about the problems you should be solving. One sure way to conquer fear and pursue your purpose in life is to understand that you have everything to gain and nothing to lose by having a good work ethic for instance. Sometimes you will fail and maybe terribly but if you choose to stand up and press on be sure that there are a thousand other folks out there who gave up and that will be your edge in life. But finding your purpose in life is not simply a matter of besting everyone else it is about exploring your various potentials, and this is a sacred duty to self and winning or losing are just outcomes in this vital process. The people who succeed in life in ways that require documentaries and memoirs to comprehend the scale of their achievements don’t start off with the desire to win, they start willing to know what they are capable of and we all owe it to ourselves to explore this side of ourselves. This above all requires that you let go of any fears that you have.

Trust what you already know

At every age you already know enough of yourself, your life situation and the world around you to make informed decisions and to wait to know enough in order to decide on your life’s purpose is a big misunderstanding of what constitutes purpose. Because although similar to the question of why do I exist? The matter of life’s purpose is different because purpose calls to action while existence is a matter of origin. This means that you are already living a purposeful life as long as you are doing things and if you choose to do them well for at least that time you shall have served a purpose that you can be proud of. It is that easy but to live a fulfilled life and one with a major theme you need consistency and purpose for you shall be the outcome you get from the consistency.

Cultivate the right virtues

Every ship requires steering and life is no different. There’s got to be the principles and values on which your actions are based because if you think about it, life is one complex mash up of experiences, knowledge, goals, intentions, actions, relationships, needs and so on and anything as complex requires at least a constitution. Virtues and principles will guide you to your destination and a simple dictum like “I always finish what I start” maybe all you need. Thus sit down and write the things that you admire, the things that please you and a list of your highest aspirations and then develop your constitution such that it becomes easier for you to make decisions in the face of any complexity that life throws at you.

Orient yourself with the right questions

It is good that you should ask what the purpose of life is because as Aristotle once put it “contemplation is the highest form of activity” it allows you to take charge, exercise power over the self and reaffirms your ability to change for the better. Deciding on your purpose in life will always be a matter of making good on what you already know about life and your situation, and this requires answering several fundamental questions two of which are; is this best I can do? And does it feel right? whenever you are called to action. If you do this, you will never go astray.

What does all this say about the answer to the question of what is the purpose of life, simply that the purpose of life is what you get at the very end of a life well lived. It will be an answer unique to you and your experiences.

Moteo: Writer, Web Content Developer, Send Mail to Gholaworks@gmail.com

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You Don’t Have a Purpose in Life and That’s Okay

By Mateo → Tuesday

Why Saying Yes or No Makes All The Difference

As told in the book The Secret Life of the Mind: How Your Brain Thinks by Mariano Sigman a vegetative patient was taught to say yes or no to some questions based on whether they imagined themselves playing tennis or walking through their house. Doctors could then observe the areas of the brain activated (playing tennis and walking activate different regions of the brain) and decide if the patient was conscious or not.

This and similar experiments makes one think of the nature of decision making more so given that most if not all of our choices are yes or no situations. The fact that the brain can understand a yes decision to mean playing tennis almost certainly means whenever we decide on something we can model the consequences of our choices well into the future.

Deciding to party the whole weekend or to waste money and time, for instance, implies that the brain is at least comfortable with the future it has foreseen and at the same time saying no means that the mind wants to stick with the things it is currently attending to.

This fact provides a potent method of changing our behaviour because if the brain already has an elaborate image of the consequences of our decisions, then we can purposefully interrogate our yes and no decisions to make them more aligned with our long time goals.

You want to ask yourself is it worth it? What’s the alternative? What is it that I gain from this?

Doing this has the added advantage of making sure that you will build up a history of good decisions such that when it comes to deciding, your brain will automatically make the right ones.

Here are some of the decisions for which you should strive to have predetermined choices.

· Save rather than spend at least most of the time

· Persist in what you are doing rather than quit

· Choose to live within your means

· Whenever an opportunity presents itself choose to learn and improve

· Be a better person

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Why Saying Yes or No Makes All The Difference

By Mateo →

How To Structure Your Life

If you want to know how to structure your life, it is a must that you have goals that you want to achieve because structuring your life means orienting yourself towards an end result. For most people, the end result is usually a life well lived and the fulfilment of their potential. Others just want to have children, some to finish their education, others to get married but whatever it is, a life structure will make it easier for you to go through the motions of life and to achieve the level of success that you crave.

But before you begin structuring your life, it is important that you have a clear understanding of what a structure means. A structure is the foundation on which something is based. To give you an example, the laws of physics give order to our universe. They determine what happens and what cannot happen basically the reality that we experience every day. Similarly, a life structure will determine your reality, the rules that you follow, the goals you set, what you expect of yourself and those around you.

Essentially, a life structure is a guide that will orient your decisions towards a path that you will have to carefully craft for yourself. The good thing about life structure is that you already have one in place as long as you have a behaviour pattern that defines you. If you for instance brush your teeth when you wake up, walk your dog, take your kid to school, drive to work every morning or do any of the millions of routine things that people do on a daily basis, it means that your life is already structured around these things. The objective, therefore, is to make you better at doing them, eliminating the noise that is.

So how do you structure your life for the better? Here are a few tips on how to structure your life

Something in the Hero has to die or Change

Every hero has his or her journey and in their chosen path they must make sacrifices to slay whatever dragon obstructs them from their ultimate goal and the same is true in life. Assuming that you are not Hercules, the journey for you will be the things that you want to achieve in life, your goals that is and to get to them, you must drop some habits along the way. It is not easy of course to just say I have stopped drinking or to end a life sucking relationship abruptly but you’ve got to have the will to try. Martin Luther King Jnr once said, “If you can’t run then walk if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do, you must keep moving forward.” The thing is, take it in bits; it is easier that way.

Engage in Deliberate Practice 

Most people have never practiced any form of organization in their life, all the rules they follow are the same ones they were taught at home by their parents, at school or picked up randomly here and there. And there is no way that an assortment of attitudes and behaviors picked up this way are optimal for performance. Socrates noted that “an unexamined life is not worth living” and there is much truth to this it is also what Buddha advocated when he called on people to be mindful and to meditate on the nature of life. In short, you need to examine your life, make a list of your behaviors note down the ones that displease you and one by one replace them with the “examined ones.” Socrates would applaud you for that, and by doing this, you will have structured your life for optimal performance.
Structuring your life is that easy, and it begins with your willingness to change and to be consistent. It requires above all that you examine and reflect on your current behaviours tick the ones that you admire and do away with those that hold you back.

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How To Structure Your Life

By Mateo → Sunday

Everyone Who Has Ever Been Successful In Life, Has Faced These 5 Obstacles

It is easy to see our struggles as being unique and our experiences shared by few but nothing could be further from the truth we all share the human condition and the obstacles that you face on your way to success are no different than those faced by the mighty and the famous throughout history.

Everyone starts off their hero’s journey by overcoming obstacles that are not out there in form of menacing lions that want to have you for lunch or a in the form of a rival in a gladiator’s cage but rather they begin their march to greatness by being able to manoeuvre around familiar problems and there is a beauty to this state of things because we can all draw lessons from the success of others and fulfil our life’s potential that way.

1. The fear of failure

You might recognize this because at least once in your life time, you have wanted to start something but stopped to wonder what would happen if you never made it as far as you had hoped. Perhaps you were afraid that some people would laugh at your efforts or believed that you were not deserving enough to give it a try.

This is the fear of failure and one of the many obstacles that you have to overcome as part of your hero’s journey. There is a lot to be said on how to go around being able to take that leap of faith and start something new and the best advice there is on the matter is to start small and grow as you go along. In short, don’t test the rivers depth with all of your legs, go slow and build your courage along the way.

2. The allure of the comfortable

At some point in life, we get comfortable and it is easy to understand why given that human needs are very easily met and thus most people live a life of surplus even without knowing it. If you have food to spare, a comfortable bed, a reliable network of people who will be there for you when things get hard and have earned some respect form colleagues and friends, it is easy to not pursue the extra ordinary even if you are capable of doing amazing things. What else could you ever possibly want in life?

The thing is you’ve got to find out what you are really capable of by being willing to improve and learn on a daily basis. You can only prove your worth in this life; there are no second chances and you need to remind yourself this on a daily basis.

3. Fear of the unknown

The human mind is built for survival and if it is unsure of what lies ahead, its default position is to stick to the known. Few people want to try new things or take risks and given that the majority of people are themselves not taking risks, the brain concludes that it should also not take risks. That is why most people are for instance willing to slave away for 40 years at a 8-5 job than take just 2 years and establish their own company and brand and be free and independent for the rest of their lives.

It doesn’t have to be this way you can choose to brave the unknown and be a pioneer if not for humanity, at least for friends and family.

4. Holding back

Even when people commit to doing something, they don’t commit to doing it a 100% they leave so many options open that in the end, they fail not because they were meant to but by the distractions that they invited into their work.

Life is very short and the more time and resources that you waste thinking you should be doing something else the greater the opportunity costs that you incur. Stay focused and be true to the choices that you make as that way you will accomplish more.

5. Consumption

“You are what you consume” is a truth that will always stand the test of time and it is not just about food, it is also about what you give attention to. If you spend most of your time on YouTube and other forms of social media it is time you worked on your consumption habits or switched from being a consumer to a producer.

Whatever you do take in only that which is necessary and that which builds you.

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Everyone Who Has Ever Been Successful In Life, Has Faced These 5 Obstacles

By Mateo → Thursday

To Be Successful In Life, You Only Need To Do This One Thing

The rules to success in life are easy to follow. Charlie Munger, the other Oracle of Omaha (Vice President of Berkshire Hathaway) has six of them

• You don’t have a lot of envy 
• You don't have a lot of resentment 
• You don't overspend your income 
• You stay cheerful in spite of your troubles 
• You deal with reliable people 
• You do what you're supposed to do 

To good old Charlie, it is that simple, and you can listen for yourself as he speaks about how to live a fulfilling and remarkable life in this video

But the rules here are too many, and it is understandable given life is multifaceted that way and often you have to develop competencies in other areas too which makes Charlie right, after all, he has his life experience to back him up and what a phenomenal success he has been. There is however one rule to rule them all, and that is find what you love doing, and outwork everyone else in your area of competency, and then everything will fall in place.

If you are doing what you love, you will have no space and time for envy in your life because it will already be full of purpose and love, you will also not spend more money than you earn because most of your time (the time who would otherwise waste in parties, clubs and false impressions) will now be directed towards self-improvement and actualization and then, of course, you will also be doing what you are supposed to do ie achieving your full potential.

Outworking everyone else might seem like it is not an enjoyable way to lead a life but this does not mean a life without rest, friends, family time or relationships rather it means taking advantage of every chance you get at self improvement. Improve every day and you will be at the top of the world before you know it.

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To Be Successful In Life, You Only Need To Do This One Thing

By Mateo → Wednesday

This definition of freedom will get you worked up for a better you

We have all the freedom in the world to decide what we want to do with our lives but when we decide to not progress, to drink ourselves out of opportunities, jobs and friendships, to harm our relationships and to put ourselves in danger or ill health, we are no freer than the man who is in chains. Freedom, after all, is the ability to act in one's best interests it is the reasoned behavior that gets you to a better place in life. If you choose to go hungry tomorrow, or not to pursue your dreams for short term gain, you are not free and it is time that you worked towards your independence.

Independence from mood swings, change of heart, doubt, distractions and all else that holds you back from becoming the person that you are destined to be. Eliud Kipchoge, arguably the greatest marathoner in history says that only the disciplined are free in life he goes on to define self-discipline as doing what’s right rather than doing what you feel. Feelings are momentary, but with the right vision in mind, you can learn to overcome them by focusing on the long term. Building self-discipline takes time, and Kipchoge likens it to going to the gym. The work that you put into the gym will only show after some consistency and in the same way, self discipline will grow on you if you stick to your program long enough.

 Many people think that no matter how far they push they will never be Michael Jordan, Einstein, Kipchoge, Messi or any of the superstars who are household names and this leads them to conclude that trying is not worth it. The reality is that if there is one thing that you deserve more than anything else on this planet, it is what you can be and this is because only you have the power to gift yourself this. Don’t ever give up on that. Let your most significant achievement be how well you can steer yourself in times of fear, self doubt, criticism, pain, heartache, and fatigue. Take note of these moments and deliberately choose to act better than you did last time. In other words, be a good captain of your ship.

 Luckily for those out there who don’t know where to begin or require direction, there are many ways of building self-discipline and many programs exist out there that anyone can easily take advantage of. There is even an article on this blog for people who are entirely unable to set goals. But what I would recommend for this is The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R Covey. Stephen R Covey book has been on the shelf for 25 years now and has for the two decades, and a half remained a bestseller that has transformed the lives of CEOs, business leaders and ordinary people like you and me into better versions of themselves. You should check it out.

Below is the video on which Kipchoge talks about the importance of self discipline

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This definition of freedom will get you worked up for a better you

By Mateo → Sunday

Don’t set any goals if you have problems achieving them do this instead.

It sounds very counter intuitive to not set goals when all you want to do is to achieve something at the end of the day but if you have the terrible habit of always breaking your own promises, of often being distracted by social media and friends and acting impulsively towards any number of developments in your work environment, it is best to write down rules that will serve as a guide to your behaviour than face the daily heartache of not having done half the things that you swore to do by days end.

The rules are simple, and they are meant to force you to be decisive and to stick with the choices that you make. This exercise, of course, assumes that you have the time to pursue your goals which is expected because no one imagines a desired future state without having set aside some time to dedicate to the realization of such a state. Because the rules are meant to force you into action, they shall all timed.

The first rule states as follows 


Before you do anything else on your work desk write a list of your priorities, reflect on them and decide on the most important. This exercise should not take more than three minutes and make sure that it does not with the help of a timer.

This “decision” should be your priority for the day; it should not be your grand dream to become the US president or travel to Mars. It should be something that is small and probably part of a larger goal. An example would be “I’ve decided to finish the tutorial on Graphic design”. Remember that after deciding you can’t change your mind because time has already run out on you.

   Once you are done deciding, commit to your decision for at least an hour. Again this has to be timed

It doesn’t have to be an hour; it can be as little as 10 minutes depending on your ability to focus. Some people have very little ability to concentrate for long periods while some can go at it for days on end. The key here is to get doing something.  One of the reasons that makes people unable to focus on their goals is because they have not committed enough time and energy to get them to the point of no return or to convince them that it is doable. You need to be doing something.

3     After the one hour is done, reflect on what you have done and decide whether or not to continue. This one minute reflection should be timed, and every subsequent decision should also be timed to last only a minute.

4      Should you relapse and get distracted by say Facebook, stop and list all the things that distract you and in a one minute exercise remind yourself why they are not important

5       Remind yourself of these rules after every two to three hours again this should all be timed to last a minute

If you stick to these rules for a day or two, it won’t take long before you are in a new cycle of behavior and then you can start setting goals.

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Don’t set any goals if you have problems achieving them do this instead.

By Mateo → Thursday